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If you're somewhere along the publishing journey, you're likely well aware by this point that rejection is highly likely going to be a part of your publishing journey. You may have even encountered and faced rejection already.

It's true that no matter what, rejection sucks — especially on something so important to you and personal as your story. You might start to feel like doors are getting slammed in your face, and you might be wondering if your dream of publishing your book is ever going to happen. To hopefully alleviate and mitigate some of that discouragement that I know you must be facing, today I want to offer some practical tips on dealing with rejection from literary agents and publishers to reframe your mindset and or keep you feeling optimistic about your publishing dreams.

Don’t Jump to the Negative

When you’re dealing with rejection from literary agents or publishers, try not to view it as a negative. I know that sounds counter-intuitive and frankly impossible. How can rejection not be negative? But I do want to open you up to the possibility of considering that certain rejections may be a blessing in disguise, whether they seem like it at the time or not.

I saw an agent post on Twitter recently that writers shouldn't think of rejection as a closed door but as a redirection, and I really liked that reframing because it's not necessarily a “no” to your dream of publishing, by any means — it is a step toward getting you to the people who are actually going to be your ideal publishing partners.

A friend recently told me about this Chinese parable that I think is very relevant to this topic. It goes something like this:

A farmer had his horse run away. The villagers came to him and said, “I'm so sorry that your horse ran away. That sucks.” And he said, “Well, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing yet.”
The next day, the horse returned with several other horses, so now he had a whole group of horses on his farm. The villagers came to him and said, “That's so awesome. You're so lucky that you have all these horses now.” And he said, “Well, I'm not so sure that it's a good thing or a bad thing.”
The next day, his son was training one of the new wild horses and fell off of it and broke his back. The villagers came to the farmer and said, “Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. That sucks.” And the farmer said, “Well, I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.”
The next day, the constable of the town came to the farm and said that there was a draft for an impending war, and any able-bodied young man needed to go into the military. The villagers said, “Wow, you're so lucky your son can't be drafted.” And he said, “Well, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.”

The point of this parable, as I take it, is that you never know what the future might hold, and something that might seem like an obstacle, something very negative happening to you right now, may actually end up putting you in the right direction, and the future could actually turn out in your favor. So, when you’re dealing with rejection from literary agents or publishers, I want you to approach each one with that more neutral mindset.

Realize that Everyone Gets Rejected

Remember that everyone gets rejected. You've likely heard before these statistics about major best-selling authors who faced obstacles and rejections along their publishing journey. For example, Stephen King, Dr. Seuss and J.K. Rowling have been very open about the rejections they faced.

I guarantee you that even those authors you are seeing on the New York Times bestseller lists have faced rejection and continue to, even though it likely seems like everything is going exactly as they want it to. It could be that they're facing rejection in getting their next book published, or rejection for a literary award, or rejection for a media feature or a book club spotlight, or rejection for a specific marketing campaign.

The truth is that nothing in publishing is guaranteed, so know that you are absolutely not alone in having to face rejection. It's just something you're going to have to deal with, even as you develop in your career. I personally cannot name a single author who I've worked with, including best-selling authors who are at the top of their game, who have not faced rejection in some form or another.

Now, I know that doesn't make the rejection suck less, but I hope it helps you know that you're not doing anything wrong by getting rejected. It is just part of putting yourself out there in the publishing industry.

Know that Rejection Doesn’t Dictate Your Story’s Value

When you are dealing with rejection from a literary agent or a publisher, what that means is that that particular person just did not want to invest in your story at this time. It's possible that they just didn't connect with it for whatever reason, or it's possible that they did connect with it but they couldn't see a path to selling it successfully from their perspective — which is ultimately the goal of publishing in the traditional publishing space.

But publishing is an inherently subjective business, so a rejection from one literary agent or one publisher absolutely does not mean that you're going to get rejected from every other literary agent or publisher. In fact, someone else might love the same quality of your book that didn't quite resonate with another agent — everyone has their own tastes.

We often say in publishing that it just takes one, meaning that it only takes one literary agent for you to sign with for you to be on your way toward publishing, and then one publisher or editor at a publishing house to make you a book deal for your book to get out on the shelf. That is how the industry works; you ultimately just have to find your people and find that perfect match for you.

Of course, we hope that you have multiple agents and publishers interested in your book, but many, many books are very successfully published and even become bestsellers with just one or two people taking a chance. That's why querying really does come down to a numbers game.

Remember How Far You’ve Come

Even though you may be disappointed with the rejections that you're facing now, remember where you were at the start of this journey, and don't forget to celebrate all of the huge milestones that you have achieved since then.

First, you got to write your story. You finished the final page, you put this idea that was in your head down on paper, and you accomplished something that only a very small fraction of people across the world ever do in their lifetime, which is finish a book.

Also, in reaching out to literary agents and publishers, you have put yourself out there, which takes a profound amount of courage. Remember back when you were just starting with the idea of your book, maybe thinking down the line about it getting published one day, and you thought how exciting it would be to get to this point? Well, now you're here, and that's amazing! You truly have made it so far already.

Also remember that no matter what happens with your book from here, you are a better writer and a better storyteller from simply finishing this book. You have now developed a wonderful and amazing skillset that you can take with you for the rest of your life, and that is not to be discounted. You are only going to get better and better from here.

I hope this helped you reframe your approach to dealing with rejection from literary agents and publishers and helps you maintain an optimistic and positive attitude as you continue to pursue publishing.

Thanks so much for reading and happy writing!

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